Writing Again

More to celebrate coming soon. ūüėÄ

It has been a while, a very LONG while, since I last posted on any blogs other than the occasional blurb on Facebook.  Last known post here was back in November.  Her we are at the end of April.

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Bow before your feline overlords

Not a lot has happened during these five months. ¬†Very little in fact beyond work and taking care of myself, my son, and our family. ¬†Naturally, my three cats get the lion’s share of the attention but then, they are our furry overlords and must be treated as such. ¬†If either of them demand my attention, they’ll get it in some form or another. ¬†Naturally, it is never enough… to them.

But, as the title of this post says, I am writing again.  It has been too long.  A couple of years too long since I actually sat down and wrote.  I guess college burned me out that badly as far as writing.  Speech class alone was a LOT of writing, then there was English Comp and Lit to slog through.  Yeah, there was a lot of writing.

This story is not yet named, but it starts off rather sad. ¬†Depressing if you ask me, and it wasn’t easy to write. ¬†It just came to me one day at work and I guess my general mood added to the overall idea of how to start this one off. ¬†But, the fact of the matter is, I am back to writing.

So, to prove I am doing something, here’s an excerpt:

(Warning: it is a bit long)

Slowly, Firiel looked up at Tish then a soft laugh bubbled its way up her sore throat.¬† ‚ÄúI keep telling you, Tish, there is no need to be so formal with us.‚Ä̬† Though the laugh started a coughing fit which curled the old cat up in pain, she still maintained a brighter outlook.¬† As best as she could, she waved off her mate when he tried to help her through the episode.¬† ‚ÄúNo.¬† Vorn, I‚Äôll be fine,‚ÄĚ she finally gasped as she relaxed.

‚ÄúMom, please,‚ÄĚ pleaded her son before the look all children have come to understand from their mothers appeared in the weather face.¬† ‚ÄúWe love you.¬† Let us help you through this.‚ÄĚ

‚ÄúNo, son.‚ÄĚ She whispered, struggling to get just a few more minutes with her family.¬† ‚ÄúI‚Äôll be fine.‚Ä̬† Then, with the last of her strength, she sat up and pointed towards a dusty old box sitting on a shelf beside a large soft cushion.¬† ‚ÄúLook in that box.¬† My rings.¬† Make sure Rhaina get the turquoise one, Minka.¬† That one is hers.¬† Yours is my bonding ring.‚Ä̬† She gave her daughter a weakened smile then gave her attention to her son.¬† ‚ÄúThere is a gold band in there, that one is yours.¬† Tish, my pearl pendant is for you.¬† Use them to remember me by.‚ÄĚ

No sooner had the last words left her lips then she lost any strength she had left.  Her body slumped back against the pillows and she lay there gasping for her last breath.  Vorn slipped his arms around her shoulder and listened to her heart work hard to keep beating slowing with each remaining beat.

‚ÄúI‚Ķ love‚Ķ you‚Ķ‚ÄĚ she whispered softly into his ear with her final breath.¬† Her eyes closed then her body went still.¬† As if a switch went off, the color drained from her fur with the last rattling breath left her body.

Wracked by uncontrollable sobbing, Vorn held beloved wife tight in his arms while his children watched; unable to believe that their mother was gone.¬† ‚ÄúI‚Äôll always love you, Firiel.¬† Always.‚Ä̬† He choked his words into her cheek fur, clinging to her lifeless body as if just holding on tight would bring her back.

Micah, Tish, and Minka watched, trying not to believe what their own senses told them.  Tears rolled down their cheeks in fresh rivers unchecked.  Only their father’s sobs could be heard in the quiet of the bower.  His grief knew no bounds.  Theirs was too fresh to accept but it was growing quickly within them.

I hope you enjoyed this.  Maybe more will be shared later.  For now, feel free to critique and comment.

Ciao for now!


Monday Report #writemotivation

It has been a damp week, but the rain has made some pleasant temperatures for wandering about town. ¬†I just wish I had the cooler weather Thursday when I took Hylie, our newest addition to the vet to be spayed and get her shots. ¬†Let’s just say that it was so hot and humid out that when I finally got back to work, my face was beet red and I felt like I had run a marathon.

I must have looked it, too, because Mary, the oldest of the techs, was worried until I could finally cool off and relax.  We all agreed I was close to heat exhaustion and lucky to have kept a cold drink handy during all that running about town.  Thankfully, that was only one day, all the rest have been comfortable.

Now, if anyone remembers, a couple of weeks ago I was sent to the ER after going to the clinic about a three day migraine.  It was the migraine that made my blood pressure sky rocket to near stroke limit and I was just very icky and nauseous because of the pain.  The doc and the nurses looked at me and wondered how I could not have any other problems with my BP so high.  Short answer, I am just wired weird.

Anyway… my follow up was this morning and all is good. ¬†Blood pressure was 120/84 which is excellent for me. ¬†The migraines are still coming and going more often and painful than in years past. ¬†So, I have a new prescription to go with my regular stuff. ¬†I can live with that. ¬†Next month (earliest appointment available believe it or not), I’ll be having my physical and be the perfect time to go over the blood work I’ll be have done tomorrow.

Maybe I get a few more things taken care of after that and figure a way to get this weight off my midsection. ¬† As it is now, I look like I’m pregnant and feel like it sometimes. ¬†My weight is the biggest thing right now I need to get under control.

But, to make for a nice topper for today, I stopped by the bank to inquire what all I would need to do and set up to start looking at buying a house. ¬†I’m tired of living in an apartment. ¬†Better yet, tired of living in places I cannot make substantial changes to fit my personality and needs. ¬†I don’t have any place in mind, yet. ¬†Just starting to put out the idea and see what needs to be done so we can be ready for the big step. ¬†This means I’ll probably be asking my dad for some help since he’s done this a few times.

My dad has bought, remodeled, and flipped several houses over the last 15 or 20 years. ¬†If anyone would know, he would and help us to find the right place that doesn’t require a lot of work, but still gives us something to cut our teeth on. ¬†And, if the Universe decides we deserve it, and money starts coming in hand over fist, we can turn it around faster until we are in the house of our dreams.

This means we’ll have to shift things around a little bit as far as finances and I need to rebuild my credit rating. ¬†Part one is nearly done. ¬†The next step will come around time for tax refund which will give us a jump forward. ¬†That all depends on how things look around then, too.

On to the goals!

1. Work on chapters 1 through 3 of Society of Night and Lies. Make them shine with more show and a bit less tell.

I have done some work on this one. ¬†Mostly trying to add in some atmosphere of the scenes. ¬†I did make those corrections, Michelle! ¬†They do make the flow smoother and less choppy. ¬†Decreased the word count, but that’ll be replaced later as other tidbits are worked in and scenes redone.

2. If there’s time, write two more chapters to Black Friday 2.

I doubt there will be time, but, no, I haven’t written anything more on this one. ¬†I may work on it a little during this week and over the weekend.

3. Read. Doesn’t matter which author or genre, just read.

Of course this one will always be accomplished. ¬†I finally finished Phaze Doubt and it wasn’t as good as what I¬†would have liked, but it was worth the read. ¬†It tied up the loose ends of the whole series. ¬†I’ve started reading Michelle Pierce’s novel, Sorcerer’s Blade. ¬†So far, I am liking it. ¬†I just wish I had more time to read it besides what I do on my lunch break and evenings at home. ¬†Michelle Pierce is awesome and a wonderful person to know. ¬†I look forward to the meet ups we have for our Nano group and in general.

That’s all for me. ¬†How about y’all? ¬†Those goals getting you down or revved up?

Monday Report #writemotivation

Here it is, another Monday (Boo!) and time to tell everyone how good, or bad, I have been with my writing goals for the month. ¬†All I can say is… I’ll tell you later.

It has been a rollercoaster of a week for me. ¬†Busy at work which makes tired to think about writing at home. ¬†I found a few more old Nano stories and started reading them just to see where I was in them. ¬†On top of all of that, I was tending to the new kitten (Yay!) we got to make sure my tomcat doesn’t hurt her while they wrestle and get to know one another.

Between those two, I believe we made a record in the amount of time it took two cats to settle in and be sociable with one another.  Before the second day was done, Caffeine was more interested in trying to let her know he was the top cat; which she immediately corrected him much to his dismay.  He shrugged that off and soon found curled up in the kitty cube sleeping with her on the third day.  Ever since, both have been nestling on the bed with me at night to sleep; usually with Hylie (the kitten) snuggled up tight against my knees while Caffeine curls up in his divot by my feet.

Saturday, there was a #writemotivation meet up which was fun.  It was also inspirational as well.  On the way up to Wichita, we were talking about the book Fifty Shades of Gray and why it was receiving as much ridicule as the Twilight books.  There was plenty of good reasons given and some examples the others have found.  None of those I will go into here.

The inspiration I got for this year’s NaNo novel came from those reasons. ¬†It will be a funny take on the scary movie/thrill genre which will give me some experience in that genre. ¬†Imagine if you will a short, anthropomorphic, demonic duck. ¬†His minions are the tall, brawny ostriches who literally have their heads in the sand. ¬†These minions will be in varying degrees of stupid which will be where a lot of the comic relief in the action will come from and the ‘leader’ will have most of the one-liners. ¬†Such this one: ‘Leave me alone, I’m brooding.’ ¬†either the demonic duck or his ‘wife’ will say that while sitting on a nest or chair while reading plans for the next conquest.

The bad guys can’t go around unchecked, of course, so on the spur of the moment, we came up with a flamingo. ¬†A flamboyant flamingo who uses a rapier and dances and is already named, Flamenco… as in the dance, which he also does.

There’s two months to go to come up with the situations and comments for this book. ¬†I want people to laugh all the way through this book and feel sorry for the poor bad duck. ¬†That’s plenty of time… or not.

On to the goals!!

1. Work on chapters 1 through 3 of Society of Night and Lies. Make them shine with more show and a bit less tell.

I’ll give you three guesses. ¬†The first two don’t count. ¬†Abso-f***ing nothing! ¬†Nada! ¬†Zilch! ¬†Not a thing done! ¬†I have looked through and found places to start but I haven’t touched it at all since setting it up on Google Docs so my friend can help out.

2. If there’s time, write two more chapters to Black Friday 2.

Since nothing was done to one, nothing has been done with two.

3. Read. Doesn’t matter which author or genre, just read.

Don’t be surprised if this is the only goal I meet this month. ¬†I’m still slogging through the Apprentice Adept series. ¬†I‘m finally on the last book in the series, Phaze Doubt. ¬†It’s slow going because I have never read this one before. ¬†Next, I’ll be reading Scene and Structure and Michelle Pierce’s beta The Sorcerer’s Blade. ¬†Both deserve my full and undivided attention.

That’s it from me. ¬†How’s everyone else doing?

For those who don’t have WordPress but want to follow this blog, I am now using the Blogspot blog,¬†http://candacegauger.blogspot.com/,¬† I accidentally created in April. ¬†Follow me there if you want, it’ll all be the same material. ¬†The link will open in a new window.



What is this thing, furry, I keep mentioning in the majority of my posts?

Furry is a community of artists (writers, drawings, and collectors), suiters, and role players of anthropomorphic animals.  Furries tend to think of themselves as a particular animal; such as wolves, felines, dragons, etc.  Not Therian which is something different, yet similar.  There are a lot of sexual fetishes involved with a small part of this community of people, but most are pleasant people who simply want to share what they like and see the world a little bit differently than most.

Furries have been in national media lately and viewed as disturbed people who simply cannot live well outside their fursuits or are sex crazed addicts who want to hump anything in sight including some poor innocent animal.  Sadly, some of this is true, but they are the nut cases among thousands.  Every group has a few of these in their midst and they give everyone a bad name.

Furry has crept in unnoticed throughout history. ¬†Everyone has seen it but never really noticed until this community pointed it out. ¬†Now, there are plenty out there who will argue this fact, but it is still classified as being furry. ¬†The ancient Egyptian¬†deities¬†were¬†part¬†animal, Native American¬†deities¬†are talking animals. ¬†Sesame Street and the Muppets are packed full of furries and¬†parents¬†allow it. Almost every classic fairy tale has a talking animal in it. ¬†We have taught our children using talking animals of some kind (I.E. Barney, My Little Pony). ¬†They are all anthropomorphic animals, or simply called furry. ¬†Disney adores the furry set. ¬†Just look at all the animal related children’ movies they’ve made!

But, I am not making this blog into a rant.  It is to define what furry is.  Now that the defining is done, on with the rest.

I am a furry artist.  I have plenty of sketches and pictures in my main galleries at FurAffinity.net and Deviant art.  What is seen is clean and safe for work.  To see anything more mature, there needs to be proof of being an adult and an account at either site.  still, that is what I draw.  This is what I write as well.

I don’t like to write about humans. ¬†They are mundane and pretty much serve as the¬†antagonists¬†when they do appear just from my own personal experiences with people in general from work. ¬†We, as a race, have not treated our world very kindly so I don’t view humans as being all that good. ¬†There are exceptions. ¬†I also do not draw the human face very well, so I draw animals. ¬†I find the muzzle and ears easier to draw than the human mouth and head. ¬†There’s a few examples in both sites mentioned.

Animals lend a bit of mystery to my writing. ¬†How would they react in a human type situation. ¬†They’d have skill sets matched to their genotype; like cat’s¬†having¬†great¬†agility¬†and stealth, dogs have stamina, bears with their strength, so on and so forth. ¬†Trying to imagine how each would react to something is more fun and definitely more engaging. ¬†They can also be made more human-like in how they go through their lives. ¬†I’m sure they’d evolve differently as they learned and grew than we humans would.

These characters can be much more dynamic than the mundane.  Science fiction, fantasy, and fiction in general allow for these to jump out and grab people.  How big of a presence they have in any story depends on the author of the book.  I have read books where the furries have a bare mention and a few pages within a story and others where they all but dominate.  There are plenty which take up the middle grounds where furries and humans are about equal.  They all make for interesting reading.

One of my favorite books from my childhood is ‘Watership Down’. ¬†It is a story about a small group of rabbits that escaped being poisoned and search for an ideal place to make a new warren. ¬†Along the way, they encounter other rabbits and lots of trouble concerning humans and their natural predators. ¬†If you haven’t read it, do so. ¬†They movie stuck pretty close but the book gives more with a lot of imagery to bring it to life in you head.

Another book, actually a series of books, by Clare Bell is in my library now. ¬†The first one I read, ‘On Clan Ground’, stars a young feline named Ratha who discovers the use of fire and tries to introduce it to her people. ¬†At first, she is driven out, but she returns later to battle the chief then takes up the role of leader with fire as her proof of leadership. ¬†This covers about five books what I can tell and I would certainly love to see more one day from Ms Bell. ¬†She created a beautiful world and characters you fall in love with. ¬†They are all normal looking felines except they have conscious thought and work together in various roles. ¬†You have to read it to fully understand.

There’s plenty more out there to read. ¬†Find one you like and enjoy!

Inspiring Music


Behind so many novels and poems there is inspiration.  That inspiration can be anything from a random thought, cloud in the sky, or music.  Classical evokes imagery and emotion as the notes ebb and flow from the instrument.  They help to build the crescendo of battles as they leap from the worded page to your receptive mind.  The notes evoke love and drama and swirl merrily about like leaves on the wind.  There is a story hidden within those notes and instrument.

Modern styles of music do the same. ¬†With the sung words and the pounding beats, more stories spring forth. ¬†Several ideas spring to mind while listening to these songs. ¬†Country, rock, pop, metal, thrash, techno, they all bring about ideas to the author’s mind.

Some bring the right emotional response for a stuck scene.  Others help build the drama of the overlying plot.  Most are just there to help write, offering tantalizing tidbits when the words come slowly.

One such song has inspired how the characters react to their current situation in my newest work in progress.  Diamond Eyes (Bully Boom) has several phrases that in so perfectly to the narrator, her mate and a few others in their group of new therians:

Out on the frontlines,

Don’t worry I’ll be fine,

It only just the beginning

There is more but these few lines fit in so perfectly to the tone.  There is tension with how things are going down but Karina, the narrator has to keep the calm and reassure these people s they begin to learn about what they are.  For her, this is nothing new but the amount of students is definitely not what she is accustomed to directing.  From beginning to end,  Diamond Eyes describes what she has to deal with and what is going through her mind.  Her mate has similar thoughts, as does Nick, their adopted son.  Nothing in her life has prepared her for what she has to do.

Another song, called the Beast talks about being the evil inside a werewolf as they change from human to beast.  This is the classical sense of what a werewolf is, but it still plays into the whole therian thinking.  Some will misunderstand and do exactly what they think a were-creature should; which is bringing about terror and kill mindlessly.  As the song says, they will dine in hell tonight.

In another, the songs Beth and¬†Mamma¬†I’m coming home bring about the scenes in Society of Night and Lies. ¬†The first death scene, when Sabrina’s husband is shot, the song Beth comes strongly into mind. ¬†She hears him calling for her but she just cannot be there for him. ¬†It is a very harsh emotional response, so sad and heart wrenching, even I couldn’t hold back the few tears.

Mamma I’m Coming Home comes at the end when Sabrina is leaving with the body of her best friend, her cousin, Jason, and her best friend’s husband to leave that dark part of her past behind forever. ¬†She is going home to a place where those old memories can’t threaten her any more. ¬†Still, the look in the eyes of the man who saved her from the streets and an uncertain life of poverty is where the song fits best. ¬†He didn’t want things to end like the way they did.

For those more fun scenes where joy can’t help but to be felt, a whole plethora of songs spring to mind. ¬†Such as Stray Cat Strut, or Look What the Cat Dragged In. ¬†Love scenes I only hear More Than Words. ¬†That song alone says it all and offers the feeling of a gentle, sweet, encounter between two lovers ¬†Every Rose Has Its Thorn and November Rain invoke the bittersweet endings that inevitably come.

Those are all rock and pop songs. ¬†I don’t listen to country as much, but those few odd ones sneak in and make their presence known. ¬†A little known song call A Letter to You comes when Nightwing is thinking about his beloved ShadowWing in Way of the Comet. ¬†Also appears when Larana thinks about the younger of the three males in her¬†entourage. ¬†He’s young and handsome and someone she can relate to even when something very new happens to her. ¬†It can’t be helped and it is only be her wishes that he goes to her to help take care of the situation. ¬†There will be consequences, of course, but at this point, they don’t matter. ¬†They will soon enough then another rock song comes into play.

Music is a great background when writing.  It helps to shut out the world around you while you concentrate on the plot and what is doing what to who and why they are doing it.  Whether there are children or lots of adults, phones ringing off the hook, or work calling you back to do something, music allows you to escape and find yourself someplace else until you are ready to return to the land of the living.

It is definitely more than just noise that I like.  It is inspiration!

Custom Critters!


In the genres of science-fiction, fiction, and fantasy, any manner of creature can be real.  The books, movies, and TV series of Star Trek explored all kinds of strange and interesting aliens.  Babylon 5  did the same and some were very intricately conceived with so much depth that anyone would think them to be real.  many mainstream comic books do the same as well; look at Green Lantern as an example.

The late, great, Isaac Asimov created many wonderful creatures in his books.  A few, I swear he described them from living creatures rather than from some hidden recess in his imagination.  Authors like Piers Anthony and Roger Zelazny took main stream legends and folklore and took them up a notch or three in their writings.  In either case, these were custom created for their stories.  Any decent fiction and fantasy writer does the same.

In my oldest work in progress, Way of the Comet, I created a race to fill in a rather empty gap.¬† I needed something to help fill a sub plot but also fit in well with the main story line.¬† I needed a race that wasn’t war-like, but they could fight to defend themselves, have a bit of mystery surrounding their people and ways for a lot of misunderstandings and rumors about them, physically strong but not powerful and have a few special abilities of their own.¬† They had to have something about them to make them sought after by other races for what ever reason.

What I came up with was a feline race I named Kiyrie (pronounced kee-eye-ree).¬† They aren’t just simple felines like other anthropomorphic cats.¬† They have wings and an inherent magical ability to change shape. Actually, they aren’t true felines.¬† They are mostly feline with a few other bloodline tossed in for the benefits they gave to them such as flight and magic.

Sketch of a Kiyrie:     http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2558640/  Not the best it shows what one looks like in my imagination.

No, they cannot change into anything like other shifters or were-creatures.¬† They have limits to what they can become. Part of it deals with mass, meaning they can’t become very big or extremely small.¬† This means they cannot become an ant to crawl under doors or into giants to stomp their enemies flat.¬† With practice and time, they can change into something as big as small dragon or as little as a n average house cat but holding these shapes takes a lot of effort.

Their magic does give them some disadvantages.¬† When the young kiyrie first come into their magic at puberty, it can cause problems if they aren’t prepared for it.¬† Magic is a fickle thing and appear quickly or slowly, so the unprepared can end up dying trying to control the sudden bursts it can create.¬† Those who do survive onset can learn how to work with their developing abilities but it still takes time to master the first shapes beyond what the shapes they accomplish instinctively in need.¬† A short teleportation is an instinctive magic in the young as a survival trait.¬† A full shapeshift is what they learn after onset and even then, it can be deadly.

Magic of any kind is not the sparkly wonderful thing so many writers make it out to be.

Their abilities and natural strength make them sought after as slaves to a couple of enterprising nations.  Knowing what works to stop their magic helps these people maintain control over their captives.  Certain ores and gemstones wreak havoc with Kiyrie magic.  They can trap them in a form, turn off their magic entirely or even cause them to force shift into something.  A high-ranking mage can guide a kiyrie into any shape they want then trap them in it for as long as they wish; usually permanently.  Once trapped in a shape, the kiyrie can forget themselves simply be what ever it is they were turned into.

Catching them isn’t easy, they are masters of stealth.¬† To be considered an adult, the adolescent kiyrie has to prove themselves in a hunt.¬† They have to capture specific creatures.¬† They don’t have to kill the creature unless there is a need or it is a prey animal.

As a whole, the kiyrie are a shy, reclusive, people and keep to themselves.¬† If one is found, it is more than likely a scout.¬† Scouts are brave by comparison and prefer to be out exploring the world beyond their hidden villages and camps instead of being a productive member of their tribe.¬† Yes, they are a tribal type people.¬† This helps in the mystery and rumors surrounding them.¬† It is also why they are hunted, too.¬† They aren’t like everyone else and therefore are savage people who should be taught how to be civilized.¬†¬† ūüėČ

I have made a web page and several docs about this species I created so i won’t bore anyone with the details here.

Through role play and some writing about them in various short stories, I have developed the kiyrie into something that sounds believable.  I have put a lot of thought into this race and changed parts here and there over the years.  In the beginning, they seemed very over the top with all kinds of powers to prevent them from being captured or harmed.  Once that part of my brain was reined in, they were tamed down and given realistic problems like a high mortality rate and few children make it to adulthood.

It took a lot of people who were patient and fun to hang with to get this race to this point.

Creating a race for a story is fun, but so challenging.¬† It’s easy to modify something well-known like elves or dwarves into something, or take your cute and cuddly friends and turn them into something for your book.¬† But to come up with something original, it takes a lot of time to consider¬† the pros and cons, what they can do why they can do, how, what their society is like and so fort.

I don’t think I’ll create many custom races because of all that needs to be thought of but I will certainly think of stories to surround any race of mine.

Ideas from Dreams?


Ick!¬† Two days with no post.¬† Bad girl!¬† No cookies for me.¬† ūüėȬ† Good excuses though.¬† Tuesday, I didn’t get home until late thanks to some much needed shopping.¬† I ate my pizza, checked emails, then crashed hard, only to be awakened at am by my tom cat running across my legs after something.¬† Good thing he did.¬† The dream I was having was about to turn into a nightmare.¬† >.<

I guess the mix of humidity, no air flow, and five cheese pizza didn’t make for good dreaming or good sleep.

Dreams are windows into our psyches.¬† They give insights into things we have repressed or buried so deep, we can’t consciously think of them.¬† They show our fears to our naked mind.¬† But, our dreams also give ideas.¬† Ideas that could become something truly amazing.

Would you believe that the wonderful invention known as the sewing machine wouldn’t be here today if the guy who made it didn’t have a dream about it?¬† It wasn’t about the machine itself but how to make it work.¬† Before man even thought of the airplane, he dreamed of flying with wings of his own while watching birds soar high over head.

It was because of a dream that some of my stories came into being.  I still have one running about in my head that I am not sure how to begin.  It centers around transformation, felines, canines and an invasion of some kind.  It is the invasion that starts the whole thing off.  Needless to say, the dream repeated itself several times and I thought on it for about two years straight on how the plot moved before it simply faded into the back of mind to spring up  once in a while.  Elements of this story appear in a lot of my fiction.  In fact, Black Friday has a lot of it in there.

The dream that I had Tuesday night, though, started off innocently enough.  Nothing noteworthy, just the general worries of the week strolling through of me trying to get the shopping done and pay bills.  Mundane stuff everyone thinks about and immediately forgets upon waking.  Then, it took a turn into the strange.  I was speaking to my mom while we were out walking someplace.  Could  have been a park, arboretum, or down one of the streets near her apartment.  My son was there running ahead and being a goofy little twerp.  Nothing unusual except for the general vibe.

We were talking about ideas and what to do once money came in.¬† Moving has been heavy on my mind lately, so I am sure that was the conversation; which apartment complex were we considering.¬† Nice places that offered Wal-Mart employees discount were at the top of the list, then things which benefited us as a whole for general entertainment and budgeting.¬† While we were talking, a bee flies up and makes a few circles, almost diving by as if it were controlled by some sadistic person.¬† Think of the flybys done in Top Gun and you have the right idea of what this insect was doing.¬† Both my mom and me are allergic to bee stings.¬† But, she’s one who needs the epi-pen for just in case.¬† Anaphelptic(sp?) shock is what hers becomes when stung. (Boo)¬† Mine gets extremely painful and requires doctor care, but to the point of nearly killing me.¬† (Yay)¬† Still, I’m twitchy around stinging insects like bees and was ducking away from this dive bombing pest.

Then, it lands on her.¬† I panic and immediately swipe it off her and it comes diving back with stinger poised to sting on impact.¬† How it was caught in mid-air by me, I don’t know, but suddenly, in my dream, it was there and buzzing madly at me while wriggling.¬† No way was I going to let my mother be stung by something as small as a bee.¬† It gets flung away into a clump of aromatic flowers.¬† I wasn’t going to kill it, bees are a necessity in nature.¬† We start to walk off and look back as we return to our conversation.¬† Things are quiet then an eerie chill crawls up my neck and tickles the base of my skull and vibrates in my ears.¬† Mom looks terror-stricken.¬† I look back and there it is; the bee I flung away and the rest of its hive swarming behind it.¬† Not only was that single bee mad, but so were the rest and we were in their sites.

Last thing I remember from the dream was that swarm spiraling toward me.  i was frozen in place, unable to move at all and shaking.  Mom was trying to run off and protect my son.  right as the first bee was about to sting, Caffeine, my tom cat, runs  over me, nicks me with a claw and makes this funny meow when he wants to play.  He woke me up just in time.  Had that nightmare continued, it could have caused some damage from the shock factor alone.  I was that deep into sleep with it and thought I was awake.

If I were any good at writing horror, or suspense, that would make a wonderful story line to read.¬† Something along the lines of a Stephen King novel.¬† heh¬† Would be cool if he stumbled across this journal and got inspiration for his next book from that dream.¬† Now that I have it wrote down, I may do something with it.¬† I don’t have to keep it alive in my mind until I think of what I could do with it.

Now, if anyone want to analyze that dream, let me know, I’ll try to give more details upon request.¬† Or, just offer suggestions about what could be behind it besides an over active imagination and repressed feelings of fear and anger.¬† I’ll listen.

People who say they don’t dream, aren’t really living.¬† They aren’t as healthy as they think they are mentally.¬† Perhaps their dreams are just forgettable.¬† Things happen and simply do not get filed away into higher memory where the waking mind will contemplate what it saw.¬† Or, what happens in the dreams is just so intense, the mind cannot cope and buries it deep.¬† Deep into places where only a psycho-analyst and hypnotist dare to tread to bring them out so they won’t cause any further problems.

Repressing your dreams is just as bad as repressing your feelings.¬† They have to e given thought or else you simply won’t be able to function in society.¬† They can hold you back as well as push you forward.

That nasty dream stuck with me all through Wednesday.  I managed to get my shopping and a bit of laundry done.  Even took a nap before starting off just so I could focus on driving and the budget I had to buy food with.  A lot more snoozing was done while listening to animes like Ben 10 and Pokemon (shudder), and a round of SWAT Cats  before mom got in from work.

She made the best sirloin steaks ever!

By the time I had all that running around done, my gas gauge was sitting practically on empty.  The ten dollars mom loaned me last Friday was to last me until today, payday, so i could fill up but an unexpected trip cut me short on fuel.  So, I intended to wait until midnight when my paycheck was to be auto-deposited.  Colin, cute little twerp that he is, stayed awake to make sure we left.

We no sooner pull out and go a few feet when i hear an odd sound coming from my wheels.  I park (two spaces away from where I was) and find my back passenger tire was flat.  No way I was getting home to write any blogs or do anything until morning.  Thankfully, mom lent me her AAA card so it was changed out without any fees and we were on our way.

Here’s something weird.¬† No one knows what size tank is in my Lumina.¬† My brother tried to purposefully run it out of gas.¬† it was sitting on empty and the thing still started and got him where he wanted to go.¬† Mom tried to do the same thing and the car would not run out of gas.¬† Unintentionally, I tried and came very close… this time.¬† I squeezed in almost 16 gallons.¬† So, Dave and I figure it has an 18 gallon tank.¬† Give or take.

More than plenty go another two weeks before putting more gas in.¬† I know that will put it around a quarter of a tank since I go mostly to and from work which about 11 miles round trip.¬† Round trip to mom’s apartment is almost 25 miles and she’s just a few miles beyond work.¬† For Colin’s therapy, it’s around 14 miles round trip.¬† Thankfully, if we need groceries, I can get them en route when coming home from work, or pick them up there.¬† Only once a month do I go out of my way to restock shelves.¬† I must go where the deals are to save money.

Now that I think about it and I have that bad dream written down, I wonder if I could turn it into a NaNo novel this November.¬† If I give it enough thought, it shouldn’t disturb me into having more nightmares or terrors to prevent sleep.¬† That other dream could very well become the same.¬† Problem is how to begin the invasion which starts the story.

This is what I love about fiction.¬† It can be anything at all and placed into any kind of setting.¬† We’ll see.¬† I am still considering picking up Rosie’s story.¬† I may pick up another that has a pair of therian type people which was turning into a good plot before I got side tracked.¬† There’s another, cross over, I may redo entirely and use the current as the outline.¬† There are two cross over stories I have which were both written about the same time but the one was done entirely during NaNoWriMo.

Actually, I need to transcribe what I have of book two of Black Friday and see about pushing that story forward some more and work on the editing of Society of Night and Lies.¬† I still need to come up with another 30K worth of words to meet the minimum with the company I’m self publishing through.¬† The bare minimum I can submit is 80K words which comes out to about 180 pages in a 6×9 book.¬† Max amount is 150K I believe for novels.¬† I’m not too sure on the max amount but it is around the 100K mark.

That’s a lot of writing, even for me.

This blog has turned into a lot writing for this time of night.   At least the ideas are out and put someplace I can find to reference later.