Life and Such


tragedy-prompt2It has been little more than a month since my last post.  To be honest, I haven’t felt as though I had anything to share other than work is super busy (which is a given), Colin is being a boy (trouble but still a good kid) and things like that.  Nothing really new.  Not even a single new word written for any story.

What is sad is I have gone through several of my stories in my head, thinking of new twists and arcs then when I sit at my computer… nothing.  All those ideas run and hide behind the neurons and other distractions until time for bed when they return to cavort through my mind again until I fall asleep.  So far, I have found an actual end to Leofa’s background story and one of my erotic stories is in progress.  Neither has seen any work at all to get onto the screen or paper.

unhappy woman in orange dress sitting on the stony bench in the park

I’m sure there is something not right in my head.  Until I can get to the doctor, nothing much beyond suspicions can be said.  Other than these artistic pursuits gone dormant, I feel a growing disconnect with people around me.  Well, people outside my family.  I adore most of my co-workers.  These are wonderful men and women who are just as nuts as I am, but anything beyond the casual now and I want to back away.

Work has become a mental game of  ‘Can I get to the next break’ until time to go home.  This is an exhausting game some days and very tiring the rest.  I want to go out, but getting among people is, to be honest, scary.

Letting people see my thoughts is becoming more and more difficult to do.  I don’t want to become a shut-in, but I feel myself slowly edging in that direction.

2ac29_surprised-cat1
Wow!  Exercise!

On a brighter note, however, I am finally starting an exercise routine.  Crazy work schedule won’t allow it to be too stable, but I’ll work with what I got.  Yesterday was my first work out and Colin came along.  We were only able to get in 20 minutes before the gym closed, but that was a good power walk for me and a lot of running and walking for him.  Today we had about 45 minutes or so where he learned to use the free weights, worked on the stepper and did some running on the treadmill.

As for me, I did a few free weights showed Colin how to use the rower and stepper then did a decent run on the stationary bike.  As sore as various muscles are, I feel good for it after a long day of standing on my feet at a register.

So, beginning weight for my workout is 302.5 lbs.  I’m already half way to my first weight goal of losing 25 lbs.  At 285 or better, I will buy myself a ring I’ve been wanting for a while as the reward.  The next weight goal will be going to Andulini’s for their all you can eat pizza.  It’ll be well worth it.  My aim is to get down to 180 lbs which is the upper end for my height and build.  I may never be a size size, but I’ll be happy in a 12 or 16.

With all of this, I am, sadly, skipping NaNoWriMo this year to focus on mental and physical health.  The ideas are there, but I just don’t have the mental energy to do it.  I may write some, we’ll see, but I doubt it.

Something New


Lately, it has been rather difficult for me to think of anything to write about on this blog, or any of my blogs for that matter.  I had taken a very long hiatus from writing due both busy/hectic work schedule and finishing up college.  Neither one is a good excuse  for not writing, but when your brain is mush after dealing with people all day, one tends not to do creative things until the mushiness goes away.

Work, at the moment, is still taking most of my energy.  Trust me when I say that Money Center at any Wal-Mart is not a place to see happy customers unless there are multiple registers in use on those super busy days.  A lone cashier on a busy day is not very happy, productive, or quick and the customers do not want to wait to pay their bills, cash their checks, or send/receive money transfers.  It all must be done N-O-W!

I do what I can.  That is all that one can do.  Right?  Right.

So, about this something new the title of this post says…  I’m considering doing random blogs from the perspective of my various characters.  Granted most do not live in our reality and are furry (anthropomorphic) creatures in varying degrees of sanity and animal rating (feral to civilized).  But, to give some insight into their minds and thinking, and perhaps some humor to entertain, could help break some of my writer’s block and offer ideas into where to take a plot arc.

Black Friday, Society of Night and Lies, Test of Ascension, and my erotica compilation could benefit from this.  Maybe, allowing some of these characters to speak to the world outside of a role play forum or a book will either get them to speak or finally be quiet so others may have their spotlight.

Be warned, though, I have a lot of characters.  A LOT of characters from all walks of life.  Many are related in some way or another and others are all there is to represent their people.  There will be a short blurb before each of their posts stating who they are (some characters are shy and won’t tell), where they come from as well as the reality they hail from as well.

I didn’t see this idea anywhere so if it is a copy, sorry, I didn’t know.  It just came to me this morning while I was preparing to take my son to the bus stop.

Enjoy your day and, please, tell me what you think of this idea.  All comments, complains, and suggestions are welcome.

A Heart-felt Thank You


To all the police officers, guardsmen, and security personnel, I want to say thank you for giving us, the citizens of these cities, hamlets, and other populated areas, your time to keep us safe from harm.  Thank you for stopping the robbery with a chance stop for refreshment during your shift.  Thank you for helping store security wrangle that shoplifter who tried to make off with groceries and big screen TV.  Thank you for escorting the customer service supervisors as they go around the store at night pulling tills and making sure, the law-abiding citizens, are also following traffic laws.

You put your lives on the line for the people of your town and protect them to the best of your ability whether those same citizens want you to or not.  You deserve our respect, not our scorn.  You deserve more than what is given to you daily, not the pittance most receive.

It may seem that you have a target painted on your back after the tragedy that has happened in Dallas and Baton Rouge.  Your families may not be as safe as you once thought we were with so many wanting to see the police departments disbanded and defunded.   The world, as we know it, is falling apart and those simple things, respect, honor, and loyalty, are falling by the wayside to be replaced by ignorance, hate, and self-importance.

I am but one small cog in the giant retail machine.  But, as a tiny cog, my simple greeting of “Be safe” is always with all the best intentions.  I understand how dangerous your job is on a normal day without snipers laying in wait for the unwary.  I want, and wish, you to return home to your families so that I, and my co-workers, may see you come back to our store the next day to catch another round of thieves and prevent assault on the rare occasion.

While there may be the few bad apples hiding in each precinct which have helped cause this problem we have today, that doesn’t mean that all of you are racist or cruel.  You are doing your jobs and you are doing your jobs to the best of your ability.  That is all we can expect.  Trust me, when I say that we notice when you do go above and beyond the call of duty and many of us mourn with you when your comrades have fallen.

This letter cannot begin to say what I want to say, but it is my hope that you, and everyone who reads this, understands that there is not enough thanks that can be said, written, or even drawn to show you how I, and others within my store, feel.

To the police, thank you.  Thank you.  Thank You!  For being there and keeping us safe.  To the security guards, and servicemen, retired and active, my deepest and most heart-felt thanks go to all of you.

Be Safe, all of you.

I mean it.

Long Time No Post… Again


It has been an extremely long time since I last wrote an actual blog post.  Other than a few slices of what was happening in my life over on Facebook, I haven’t touched my blogs in over a year.

Just to recap since the last post; my Aunt Pat died a year ago May.  It was a very sudden heart attack when she was getting out of the pool.  She was gone before reaching the hospital.

My last surviving grandparent, Grammy, passed away back in February.  Her death was expected.  She had been declining over the last couple of years since her operation to have a few melanoma tumors removed from her scalp.  She went in alert and ornery and came out a very different person.  We think she have had a mini stroke during the operation to bring about such a huge change.  At least mom and I got to see her one last time when we went down for Aunt Pat’s funeral and she got to meet Colin and see how bright and vibrant he is.

I loved my grandmother, but she was the poster child for bipolar and I caught the brunt of some of her opinions and anger.  But, I am happy that she is no longer suffering and is probably driving my grandfather up a wall in Heaven right now.  I can just hear her yelling “Charles!” because of something he did.

When we went to my Aunt’s funeral last year, we didn’t tell Grammy that her oldest daughter had died.  That news would have killed her quickly.  But, she knew something wasn’t right.  Something was out of place though an unexpected visit from her middle child and a granddaughter wasn’t too out of the ordinary.  All we dared to tell her was that she would see Pat soon.  Which is true in a sense.  We didn’t know how much longer we’d have with Grammy but we knew then it wasn’t long.

As for myself, and my family, we’re all in good health and improving it one day at a time.  For now, my diabetes is getting under control again and my doctor, wonderful lady, is concerned about my cholesterol so I have added a new pill to my daily regimen.  Yes, I am finally under doctor care again.  Which means, I should be getting myself back into a better routine and working to bring my blood sugar back down to where it should be.

She also added another pill to aid my metformin.  After three weeks of this, I am starting to feel more energized and less tired all day.  I still feel blah in general, especially when it comes to writing or even art in general.  I need to edit book one of Black Friday and finish writing book two.  My erotic anthology needs not just editing but stories written.  One is started and two others planned.  Test of Ascension is in serious need of editing and beta reading.   Any one willing to read this to help get the introduction fixed as well as ideas to fill in the gaps as well as smoothing it out, please, give me a note and I’ll send a copy.

globe_w_book

Best thing about me is I finally graduated from college.  I have an Associate degree in Business Administration.  Woo hoo!  Yes!!

hat tossing ceremony at graduation
hat tossing ceremony at graduation

Dave, for those who have seen the posts on Facebook, is doing great.  He had an abscess on the back of his lymphodema mass go septic and rupture in such a way, the mess looked like a crime scene.  He had to have the fire department come help the EMTs get him out of the bathroom where he discovered the problem when he went to do his usual wake up routine.  As serious as it was, when looking back, it is funny, but Dave was in the hospital just over a week and had surgery to clean out the abscess.  This was at the beginning of May.  Now, that fist sized hole is how about the size of my pinky and he can take a shower again.

Even better, he has lost just over 50 pounds, so we are all happy.  Yeah, he has the help of insulin injections right now, but the weight loss is a welcome thing.  Plus, he is watching his diet much better.  For now, the goal is to lose five pounds per month.

He is seeking a new doctor.  The one he went to see for the abscess did nothing except put him on insulin and refilled his prescriptions.  He didn’t bother looking at it or anything.  Otherwise, there would not have been such a huge mess for me to clean.  It would have been drained safely there in the doctor’s office or he could have been transported to the hospital instead of it rupturing at home where all kinds of germs and such can make things worse.  We are leaving Morton Clinic as doctor of choice.  We are needing a bariatric doctor here in Tulsa that takes SoonerCare for Dave.  Suggestions are more than welcome.

There may be more blog posts once I’m able to kick myself in the rump to actually do it.  Will there be another post soon?  I don’t know.  But, let me just say this, this blog has seen 4 years as of the end of May.  My LiveJournal account, where my blogging began is now 12 years old.  My oldest art account, FurAffinity.net, is 10 years old now.  I haven’t posted anything new on there is about a year.

So, you know, those who are still watching, I am here and still alive.  Still trying to figure things out while the muse is on vacation.  Until it is official, I am not depressed or overwhelmed with all I have sitting around begging for my attention.  I’m just tired.  Very, very, tired, and the sleep is clinging to me like a cozy blanket on a cold winter’s day; all I want to do is sleep.

Curled up with fuzzies

Have you gone without writing because of issues other than personal, working, or medical?

NaNo Novel Concept


Less than a week and counting!

I am looking forward to this year’s NaNoWriMo.  It’ll be the first one since I started college two years ago.  With nothing filling my spare time outside of work, I’ll be committing to torturing my characters as they try to find their way through mountain passes and dragon lairs.  Loads of fun for me!  *evil laughter*

At the moment, I don’t have names for my adventuring party.  There’s no real title either, so I am going with what this one will be: a dungeon crawl.  Following AD&D rules to an extent but definitely rolling the dice to see what happens next and how badly they screw up.  *evil grin*  This will, fortunately, be taking place in the world of Have, my own world where most of my fantasy writing takes place.  So, yes, this will have anthropomorphic creatures rather than humans and demi-humans.  Anyone who knows me will understand the reasoning behind it.

The only names I have are for the monarchy; King Yoseph and Queen Katrina.  The names for the adventuring party are eluding me, for now.  But, they will come about sooner or later.  I hope sooner so I can do more with their set up before NaNo starts.  At least I know what species each will be, so that part is out of the way.

I do have an idea of what is going to happen and in what order.  There will be two primary points which will get them to the artifact they need.  I also do not know what that artifact will be.  But, that can give a bit of mystery to the story while the characters discuss what it is they are seeking.

The best thing is the first seven chapters have already given me the set up for the adventure.  Chapter one will be problem which will require the artifact.  Chapters two through seven will each character coming into the story.  From then on, it’ll be a mystery even to me as to what goes on before the reach way point number one.

Good luck to anyone who is taking on this crazy challenge!  Better stock up on your writing munchies.  Oh, would someone please send me about 50 bags of Jelly Bellies?  Those are my favorite writing snack.

A Little About My Fantasy World


After such a long hiatus from this blog and other writing pursuits, it has come to my attention that not many know much, if anything, about the world I create in; the world which centers around the short stories of my compilation Trysts of the Hearts; the series which is supposed to be erotic based.  So, without further ado, I’ll give some insight into the paranormal aspects of my fantasy world of Haven.

Hauntings in my world aren’t uncommon.  There are the deep, dark forests where few animals live because of spirits, either from the dead or nature, dwell.  In these places even the most dulled senses can pick up the creepy vibe when they enter, but only those with a shamanistic background in magic or their talent is connected with communicating with ethereal beings can see and either banish them or work with these spirits.

Animated skeletons in these places are always planted by necromancers and other pranksters to scare people away their secret places.  Bogs, forests, ancient cemeteries forgotten by time are usually filled with hidden places filled with treasure and all of them are guarded by any number of undead such as skeletons, ghouls, and mummies.  Any powerful mage is capable of animating or ensnaring these to protect their labs and libraries.

Goblins, vampires, licht, nightmares, and the like are very real entities who prey on the living.  Zombies, in their own right, are also just as real within this world and in some places, are a problems for adventurers to handle for a bit of gold and treasure.  Regardless, they are dangerous without someone strong enough to defeat them or at the very least keep them at bay.  Magical weapons are a good resource when delving into old towers and dungeons.

Just don’t forget the special charms at the apothecary shoppes or the person who sends you on that quest because they just have to have that particular item and are too scared to get it themselves.  Better yet, hire a good mage and shaman to accompany you on that adventure because even the kitsune can be more than a handful for the best adventurers.

Monster Week Prompt 3


You knew it was coming.  Enjoy!

 

howling-apes-monster-week-prompt

Twilight hung over the raw battle field, covering the dead bodies in a shroud of darkness as the sun set. A tick haze rolled across the shadowy field, covering the fallen and setting fire to what was left of the trampled grass adding smoke to the ethereal haze. A strange howl rose up, making the ground shudder and the smoke and haze swirl as if it were boiling.

High above the battle ground a lane figure stood watching as the light waned and a new menace entered the field. Bright yellow eyes missed nothing as she gazed at the unfolding scene below. A hot wind flew up, tossing her cloak behind her in billowing waves .

She was not pleased with what she saw below. Nor was she pleased with what was coming out of the deepest depths of Hell. This was just the beginning of a war she tried to prevent between the gods. The price of blood for this battle was already paid and now, those souls would not be able to see the rest they deserved.

What do you see, mother?” A soft male voice came from behind her as a large hand reached for her shoulder. He stood tall and burly, dressed in armor and carrying a helmet beneath one arm. Only his feet were bare, letting him feel the earth beneath his toes and let his claws dig in deep while he fought.

Another howl broke the silence, shuddering the ground once again as mother and son observed. Looking up at him, she smiled, whiskers twitching at the acrid scent of metal and leather. That smile faded quickly with her reply. “I see a large menace coming to us, my son. We will have to fight again.”

The men are tired. I don’t think they could go another step right now.” His voice sounded concerned for the men under his command.

I know, Yaneh, I know, but we are left with no choice.” She heaved a heavy sigh and turned to walk back to the encampment. “I have healed all that can. The rest… will have to make do with a potion. Prepare them, son.”

Her words were just as good as any command from a king or emperor to him. Yaneh nodded then followed his mother back to where his men set up their camp. Though his mother was smaller than her, she had about her a strength he could never describe and learned quickly never to question her motives.

He jogged ahead and called out the orders to have all the men assemble before night was fully upon them. It wasn’t much time, but he knew they needed to be ready. As soon as his orders were passed along through the ranks, he left to help his mother prepare her potion.

The men are gathering.” He stated as he came to a stop by her fire pit. “Do you want me to help you?” He grinned slightly at her and tilted his head.

Blue eyes met yellow briefly before the smaller feline nodded. “If you want. You know what to do as much as I.” From a pouch hanging from her belt, she dumped out several musty smelling bags. Together, she and her son picked through them and poured the contents into boiling pot of water over the fire.

The flames danced high, changing colors with each new addition to the pot. As the last ingredient was added, a fox came running up, panting hard from his exhaustion. “Lady Sab’Eth! Lady Sab’Eth! We need you. The enemy is coming up the cliff toward us.” He no sooner got the last words out and he fell into a heap, dead with an arrow through his back.

Quickly son! Drink the potion then get it to our men as fast as you can.” She flung her arm back to whisk her cloak away from her body then glared into the night. Behind her, she heard the heavy thud of her son’s feet hit the ground as he ran back to take care of his contingents.

From out of the darkness, two sets of reflected the fire light. As they moved closer, the faint sound of chains clinked and the vague outline of the huge apes appeared in the flickering light.

A whoosh of wind rushed through, tugging at her cloak s Sab’Eth stood there, glaring at the intruder with her hands down at her sides and the tip of her tail flicking slowly with her contained anger. “So,” she growled, “you decided to surrender? Good. We don’t need any more bloodshed on this land.” She sounded as bold as she felt and knew the demon wasn’t there to end the war but to end her.

A loud, booming, laughed rumbled through the earth toward her before the baleful glare of a demon entered the ring of light cast by her fire. “What ever gave you that idea? You know as well as I that I’m here for you.” He laughed again.

The giant apes rattled their chains and strained against them to get to her. Sab’Eth smirked then barked a laugh of her own. “You can’t have me, Grax. You don’t have the balls to try and take me.” She flexed her fingers, showing off the claws she kept sharp and hidden.

Grax smirked then released the chains. “Get her,” he commanded the giant apes.

The beasts howled as they leaped at her, digging hand-like paws into the ground and throwing up dirt with each step. Their headlong rush to the smaller feline lady skidded to a stop when their bodies felt nothing except for the slash of searing pain along their hind legs.
They turned quickly and rushed her again only to receive the same treatment.

She wasn’t aware of the attack on the camp, only the demon at her own and the pets which were coming after her. Round and round she lead them, slashing at exposed flanks and legs. Many times she tried for the head and missed. They could see her coming.

As she wiped her forehead, she smirked. “Looks like you finally found a pet worthy of taking me on, Grax. Let’s see If they can handle another demon.”

The spell she recited jerked her body as the demon’s laughed at her attempt. He watched as the apes continued to attack, barely breaking through the spell’s field to touch her contorting body. The feline humanoid body reshaped through flashes of brilliant light, turning her from a morph to a panther-like demon with pupiless glowing eyes and a dark aura surrounding her body. Knotted muscles twitched beneath a short pelt of ebony fur as she roared her anger at the attacking apes.

Almost as large as the demonic apes, Sab’Eth rushed at them and slashed with claws sharp enough to slice through metal as if it were butter. She gave as good as she got in the fight with the monstrous apes. She could smell their determination to kill her as commanded. They were her equal in strength, but she had a slight edge; she still had her intellect and could out think both beasts with ease.

Grax kept watch, his eyes narrowing when the cat-woman changed shape. He snarled with how easy she could avoid the worst of the apes’ strikes. But they were two against one. He had the advantage. Just to make sure, he tossed in a spell of his own, adding to the speed and strength of his minions. Then, just to add to his own amusement, tossed fireballs into the fray.

She was without backup and now, the advantage shifted over to the demon’s side. Dodging fireballs and trying to avoid being tackled by the apes, she twitched and turned, letting her own instincts guide her movements while she considered her targets.

For what seemed like hours, she battled the apes. Her energy was beginning to ebb and her three opponents were limitless. She was starting to show the effects of being out numbered, but she kept fighting on, getting slower and slower, but her strikes more devastating. She’d sooner die than lose a fight to these beasts and Grax.

Over the howls of the apes, a loud roar echoed, startling the demon enough his throw was off, hitting his own minion rather than the panther. The chance gave her an opening. While the ape burned, she went for the throat, swiping with her paw to main it and get out of the way of the acid coursing through its veins.

Again, a roar startled the apes, giving her another opportunity to strike. She was getting too tired to fight, but she took every chance she could. Rest would come later.

Mother!” The shout sounded more like another roar and the acrid scent of transformation reached her nose in time for her to see the tendrils of dark aether wrap around her son. When he emerged, he looked much like her only larger, stronger, and better protected by the very spirit he held within him. As he leapt into the fray, he roared to her, “Run! I have this.”

Sab’Eth shook her head then dropped to the ground to let him tackle the apes before they could crush her. “No! Tale care of them. I’ll get Grax, their leader.”

No sooner said than an army of the demon apes arrived, howling their hunger. Some were dragging their victims. Others were licking their lips and drooling at the prospect of more than just dinner.

Just as the demons arrived, so did the army her son led. They shouted and banged their weapons against their shields then charged. A clash of metal and stone like flesh rang through the mountains as the two armies merged into one battle under the pale moon light.

Over it all, the maddening howl of the beastly apes shook the ground and the roars of the clans answered them back. Only the rising sun, hours from that point, would tell who the victor would be.